RANSVESTIA

things at once. Love like a man and yearn to be feminine. I see in her that which I love and that which I wish to be. Neither emotion is re- sponsible for the other and neither distracts from the other.

We've been married for two years and I've dressed behind her back feeling guilty each time. Last August, she went on a three day visit and I was in Seventh heaven dressing. (How can you be happy and sad that your loved one is gone?) I knew then that I would have to tell her f formulated a hundred plans to tell her gently. Finally, simple fear of not telling and of telling caused me to just blurt it out.

I don't really deserve her love and confidence in me. Her acceptance is something I felt I could never hope for But she accepts me for what I am and is not repulsed by what she sees.

Six month is too short a time to evaluate how our life is going to turn out. Since I ve told her, guilt is mostly a thing of the past and i dress whenever I want. I find my desire much less compulsive but I dress more often (almost daily). I wish to spend more time “making house” and grumble more about going off to do “a man's job “ Finally I'm daring to hope and plan for a retirement (in 16 years) that could let me live a more feminine existence. Perhaps this is all just over reaction to a new found freedom. Perhaps not, it's too early to tell.

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I would like to set my thoughts straight and put them to paper if for no one but myself. Till then, life will not wait we are expecting our first child and the game of "to tell or not to tell" is becoming more serious. But we still have a few years yet before we need the right answer.

Well, Virginia, I guess you hear from a lot of people like me and probably knew the answer to many questions that would not be solved if FPs didn't compare notes and realize they're not freaks. That's the greatest value TVia is to me, a chance to see how others feel and react to the same emotions, circumstances, and problems I'm encountering. I especially like to review the results of your survey polls and question- naires. But there are many things reading TVia alone can't answer. My wife and I would like to talk to some one before we commit ourselves to any course of action (my daily dressing, FPE, going out in public, you name it). There's also the religious aspect. I`m not the best Catholic there is but I want to be a better one. How does one relate to God as a TV?? I've read Father Dwyer's article but we still would like to talk

to some one.